Who Needs Therapy? Snap Some Beans

Beans.  They bring people together.

I fondly remember snapping beans at the home of my childhood friends. I can picture Momma Georgia with a big bowl tucked between her knees.  Snap, pull, toss.  Ends one bowl, bean the other.  My two friends and I would join her and snap too.  And conversation always. Some of my fondest memories of childhood revolve around my friends and their family.

Our neighbor brought over a big mess of beans this morning. After running to the city, I washed the surface dirt off and got out the supplies. And Little Girl and I commenced to snapping.

While we snapped, we chatted. We’ve had some hard situations in our life in recent months and we talked about them from an 11 year old’s perspective.  These situations are hard for adults.  Little Girl who loves everyone from those that look like a fine upstanding citizen to those that don’t, makes it even harder for her. She just cannot fathom why people can’t love each other and get along.

Momma nobody likes us.

OUCH!  Breath. Think carefully before you speak Momma.  This is one of those moments.

I gently explained in terms that I hope an 11 year old can understand what my mother’s upbringing was like.  She really had no one.  And instead of enjoying our family like some friends we have, she has chosen to not have a relationship with us at all. Does Little Girl understand?  I think as much as possible.  But possible is very difficult for my sensitive girl.

We discuss another similar situation.  The only words I have for her are, “I don’t understand.”  “I don’t have any answers” and “We can only chose what we’re gonna do, we can’t control what others do.”

We talk about church things.  She still mourns the loss of friends she thought she had.

Baby I don’t have any answers.  I can’t explain why they’ve done what they did.  And I wonder if those on the other side are having these kind of conversations with their children.

And then for a moment, I wonder why.  Why has God allowed our children to mourn more loss.  Haven’t they had enough?  But, at the same time, I know God has a bigger picture.  He sees what I don’t and he has a purpose in all this madness.

And I tell her this too…that even though we can’t understand and we don’t get it. We can trust that God does understand and he has a purpose for it.

And Shane and I?  We have the opportunity to influence the next generation for change.  We have vowed that, as much as it is possible, we will never allow what has been done to us to be repeated in our family.

With our own thoughts, we finish snapping the beans.

At the present time, she’s polishing her fingernails and we’re listening to the soundtrack from Trolls.  How can anyone be said when Princess Poppy and Justin Timberlake are singing?

 

 

 

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