Was it worth it?

As I was reminded recently, it’s been 8 months since we were forced out of our former church.

Many others left before us.  They left without revealing much of what they knew.  We could have done the same.   It might have been easier.   The pain would not have been so deep.  But I believe in the end, Shane would have had bigger regrets.  He took the call of shepherd to the flock seriously.  He had been approach by more than one person with concerns that the plagiarizing had begun again.  He could not sweep it away. It was his job to expose the sin. What God did with it was (and still is) up to him.

It’s been hard. The days following everything were almost unbearable. Sudden death leaves one nearly breathless. But as time passes we adjust.  The pain is not as great.

Regret? Yes of course. Things he and I both wish each of us had done differently.

And growth. Learning more dependence upon God. Learning to surrender our way to what God wants of us.

For many months after we left, Shane fielded phone calls from people looking for answers. Every time the phone rang, it reopened the wounds.  But we didn’t feel we could tell people no.

I know Shane has often wondered if it was worth putting our family through the heartache, the false accusations and the personal attacks.

Im not certain he is to the point of saying yes yet, but I am.  I wholeheartedly believe that God put him in the place he did, at the time he did because God wanted the truth to be exposed.

Just because others couldn’t see doesn’t mean it wasn’t there.  It just means that at the present time only God fully understands.

Maybe it even has nothing to do with that group. Maybe it has everything to do wit us. Maybe we needed to learn. Maybe we needed to grow. Maybe our children needed to see their dad stand upon his conviction. Maybe God knew we wouldn’t leave that place without the pain.

And since leaving there have been hard things but overall we have been blessed.

The most awesome blessing God been a church home!  It has come more quickly than we ever thought.

I know many don’t understand. I know many don’t see. My soul hurts for them.

As the picture says, you don’t get over grief, you learn to live with it.  We are learning to live with it

There are no more tears.  Mostly there is thankfulness to be out and distress for those still there. And many prayers for eyes to be opened.

Linking up with Kate and the gang at Five Minute Friday  where we are given a one word prompt and 5 minutes to write.  Yes, I often break the rules but I realize that sometimes writing is more important that rules.  This weeks word was “Worth.”

And yes, I’m linking up with trepidation because I don’t want to be found by them again.  I don’t want to be stalked again or falsely attacked again.  But I LOVE my FMF community and wild horses couldn’t keep me away.


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