The longer I’m a parent the more I realize the less I know.
My second oldest turned 18 about two months ago. I thought I was okay, but last night I realized I’m freaking out a bit. You see I can’t control their choices any longer. But the truth is I never could, nor would I want to do that. I don’t want them to have my faith. I want them to have their own faith. They are good kids as far as good goes. Their desires to serve and submit are strong but they are still Adam’s children with a bend toward rebellion and doing things their own way.the truth is, I want my kids to have their own faith; not my faith Click To Tweet
It’s scary. Some of the things they say make me cringe inside. Hopefully not too much on the outside though because I don’t want them to know that their thoughts make me nervous. I know a lot of it is brainstorming or thinking out loud and for that I am grateful. I am grateful that they feel comfortable enough to toss out things as they are considering them. I am grateful that they listen to us and consider our counsel.I want to protect my young adults from the ugly of life. But I know God can do it better! I can trust him. Click To Tweet
From every indication they know Jesus and desire to serve him. But I know life can be hard. The hurt can run deep. I know it can be tough to make the right decisions even when we desire to please the Lord. And I know that wrong decisions can bring consequences that last a very long time. I know they must forge their own way and I am confident that the work God has begun in them will be completed. I’m a human momma with the same Adamic bend.
Several kids around us have have made poor choices. It’s weighing heavy on me. Those that were raised in homes where God was honored and the name of Jesus was praised. Some of those kids have strayed from what they were taught. I struggle with wondering if my kids will take the same path. If they know my fear and only choose to please us because they don’t want to cause us pain. Or if they really trust Jesus as their Savior. Every indication is that they do and yet…
This world is different even than what it was a few years ago. There aren’t very many similarities to when I was growing up. There is nothing new under the sun but I fear the worst of humanity is cycling back around. The more “tolerant” we are the less Jesus is tolerated. Society has lost it’s moral compass. People aren’t nice. Drivers are less considerate. Bad things happen. We live in the country. It takes several two lane highways and a four lane highway to get both of the olders to work. 55 to 70 miles an hour means an error could be devastating.
Here’s what I know:
God loves them, and he loves me.
God can watch over them better than I ever could.
The struggles of life will build perseverance and strengthen their faith.
I don’t have to trust the training that Shane and I gave them. I can trust the one who created them.
They will be okay. I can leave them in God’s fully capable hands and trust Him to complete the work.
I can do this. Letting go of my “little ones” is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. But millions of parents have done it since the beginning of time, so I can do it too.
Could we have done more? Yes. But we could have. But we did the best with what we had. And I can leave them in God’s very capable hands. I can trust him. Even when they make poor choices. I can trust that He will work it out for their good and His glory.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will direct your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6