Tonight I’m sitting in the room that Shane and I shared a couple of weeks ago when we attended the writer’s conference, the sound of a distant train whispering it’s tune in my ear. Shane tries to send me on what we call a Jubilee every so often. It’s a time to spend some uninterrupted time with the Lord. Some time to refresh and enjoy a few special treats in between the marathon. The last time I tried was in November the year I headed southeast. That was the trip where a young kid ran into Hannah’s car the day before I left. As I was traveling Grandpa Ivan sat back in his hospital bed after singing Jesus Loves Me and breathed his last. I was supposed to spend the night with my Aunt and Uncle in Nashville that night and was looking forward to a morning of just him and I because she had plans, but he fell. The next day he had a heart attack. We said our earthly goodbyes to him that right before Christmas. No, that Jubilee didn’t work out too well. I tried to relax. I tried to focus, but the truth is I was a bit of a basket case for most of that trip. I tried a couple of other times before the end of that year, but nothing went quite as planned.
I’m linking up with the gang at Five Minute Friday. Today’s word is NEED.
“Martha, Martha,” the Lord replied, “you are worried and upset about many things. But only one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, and it will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:42-43
I put together some puzzle pieces over the last few weeks. Some from long ago. I realized some things that no child really wants to conclude but sometimes it’s necessary.
I’ve spent the evening watching some webcasts and reading some articles about “little gods” and forgiveness and repentance. I’ve gleaned some forgotten wisdom. The only approval I need is from my heavenly Father. I wonder why it took so long to remember?
I have been looking for approval in man. I have been bending over backwards for a good chunk of my life to avoid being rejected. But that approval is not what I need.
God reminded me tonight that I only need one thing. It truly doesn’t matter if I ever please those that I will most likely never please.
It only matters that I please God.
Yep. I knew that. When God regenerated me 25+ years ago I knew it. But when the fiery darts of the evil one attack from many directions it’s hard not to build the walls. It’s hard not to lash out and hurt those that love and support you. It’s hard not to return to those old habits. Sometimes when the pain is deep it’s hard to remember that the purpose of life isn’t to please man,
but to please God.it's easy to forget that the purpose of life is to please God. not man Click To Tweet
Father forgive me I have been tossed about, to and fro like a ship bouncing about on the ocean. It’s not my job to convince anyone that I’m worthy because the truth is, I’m not. I compelled Christ to sacrifice his sinless life for my sinful one. I deserve nothing better than death. But God in his love sent Christ. And that’s enough. I have you even if the rest of the world falls away. Even if I become as Job, losing everything or as Joseph being sold into slavery by his brothers, falsely accused and jailed. Lord I always only need you. That is the one thing that is needed. More of you. Less of myself. Less of people pleasing. Less pity parties, Less regrets. The life I am living is the one you mapped long ago. You have used what was meant for evil for good.
Focusing on the One thing reminds me of the scene in the movie City Slickers with Billy Crystal. He and the old cowboy are having a heartfelt moment. The cowboy doesn’t attribute the “one thing” to anything in particular, but there is only One thing that can truly satisfy.